Five days into my 75, and I already caught myself asking, “What have I accomplished?”
Apparently, I gave myself five days to undo years of habits and get my whole life together. Hello.
Yesterday, I submitted my poetry book AGAIN. More corrections, another shifted timeline, and another round of reminding myself why I want this so badly.
I’m still working on it, even if I don’t have the finished copy in my hands yet.
But there are other changes happening, too. Small ones that deserve to count.
I’m using screen-time limits on my phone to block social media because, honestly, it’s been sucking my brain out of consciousness.
I pick it up for a minute, and somehow I’ve handed over time, attention, and energy that I wanted to use for my own life.
I want some of that attention back. For my writing. For a thought I can actually finish without opening another app. For the goals I keep saying matter to me.
And I just downloaded Libby, which I’m actually excited about because hello, free books!
I’m getting back into audiobooks (as long as you have library card & the book is available in audiobooks your good!) and giving myself something different to reach for.
I miss getting pulled into a story. I want to feed the part of me that gets curious, imagines things, and finds a sentence worth writing down.
I also want to start running again. I put it on the back burner because my plantar fasciitis scared me, but I miss it.
I miss having that time to myself and somewhere to put everything I’m carrying. I want to find my way back carefully, without making my body pay for my impatience.
Because I can feel that heaviness creeping closer. Maybe it’s seasonal depression. Maybe it’s the depression that’s already been there getting louder. I don’t have a neat answer, but I know I want to pay attention to how I’m feeling.
These changes aren’t a promise that I’ll suddenly feel wonderful. They’re ways of giving myself more room: to move, to read, to create, and to be present in a life that has felt far too automatic.
That’s why I’m doing these 75 days in the first place. I have things I want to finish.
Places I want my writing to take me. Goals I’m working too hard on to keep giving all my available attention to a screen.
So today, I’m counting the resubmitted book. The limits I’m putting on my phone.
The audiobook I’m excited to listen to. The fact that I’m thinking about what I miss and how to make room for it again.
Five days in, I’m starting to see where my time goes.
Now I’m practicing having a say in it.
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