Lines Between Living

Being true to myself means locking doors

that once stood wide open 

doors that let in anything disguised as concern,

but were only vampires

thirsting for my light.

Access denied.

I’m learning to change my face,

to guard the sacred  me.

They may search for the old version,

but she’s gone.

She gave until nothing was left.

Now she lies in a coffin,

and no resuscitation can revive her.

A new seed has been planted 

and it will be protected

at all costs.

Without that protection,

my lifeline dies.

Access denied.

Access denied.

I forgive myself

for giving too much

and receiving so little.

I refuse to fill my days

with emptiness and fillers.

Only sincerity

may walk this path with me now.

Access denied.

Access denied.

I won’t mourn wasted time 

I’ll face what’s left

and pour into myself

what I always needed.

However much time remains,

I will spend it wisely.

Access denied.

And now, I begin again 

slowly, surely,

tending to what is genuine

and true.