Lines Between Living

I came into this month ready
I had a poem read
I wrote for seven days straight
like I remembered who I was
and then
life didn’t ask permission
it never does
anxiety filled the pages I meant to write on
tears took the hours
and I had to hide them
because there is always something
that needs me more than I need
to create
now it’s two days till the end
and I am standing here
counting what I didn’t do
like that’s the only math that matters
and this poem
will probably be another one
nobody reads
they’ll say I support you
and mean it
the way smoke means something
before it disappears
you saw it
it was real
and then
it wasn’t
I keep writing into that
into the almost-there
into the hands that wave
and then go quiet
but I had a poem read
I wrote for seven days
I kept a dream alive inside a life
that keeps trying to convince me
it’s the only thing real
that’s not failure
that’s someone fighting
with everything she has
This Month knows what it cost me
that’s enough